A fine restaurant, she said. Not the usual tortilla-smelling hole, if possible, she added. Only when she pointed at the bicycle I realised the true nature of her intentions.

It will take some time, I stressed.
Got plenty of time here. Surprise me, she insisted.

So, the restaurant. The mysterious dining room with no name, no known location, no defined menu. It must be there, hidden somewhere in a unimaginable place I’ve never heard of. After so much planning, it’s time for me to leave with no plan at all and start searching. For the last six months I have been keeping my mind busy with an exceptional bunch of perverse tracks, tortuous routes and epic rides. Finally I came up with the idea that if you – yourself, body and soul, skin and heart – are perverse, tortuous and epically humble enough, then you simply don’t need to plan so much, especially so much in advance. You just go.

Bike or die!

The question now is: what is the ideal direction to start looking for a tempting restaurant? Well, I got this sort of primal feeling telling me that east is good (yeah, east-is-good). Then I looked into my travel booklet (a journal full of wise thoughts that I use to keep in a ziploc bag in the freezer or the bathroom, depending on the season) and came across two very solid principles one should always take into account before venturing into the unknown: the Traveller’s Uncertainty Principle and its corollary, the Uncertainty Principle for Travellers Who Quest After Fine Restaurants to Dine.

The Traveller’s Uncertainty Principle states that you can not know your destination unless you observe it from a certain distance along the route. Basically it says that to get there you must be somewhere.

The Uncertainty Principle for Travellers Who Quest After Fine Restaurants to Dine follows from the TUP: at a certain point the restaurant will pop up and that is the exact moment when you have to book a table or grab a chair.

I won’t challenge these two unovercomable principles. At least not before reaching the point of despair (= a combination of constant headwind and maximum soakage, preferably pedalling uphill).

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